Reading Violet Evergarden as an autistic woman

Spoilers for Violet Evergarden

Violet Evergarden, a Kyoto Animation production adapting a light novel series of the same name, makes a strong case as an incredibly poignant, emotional, evocative view into the  experiences of autistic women. In the series, main character Violet displays many traits that are highly identified with autism overall, including difficulties in reciprocal communication, struggles with emotional empathy vs cognitive empathy, blunt and literalistic communication, and a flat affect that is seen as off-putting by others. While it’s not necessarily overtly intended, one reading of Violet Evergarden is that the series explores the notion that the ways that empathy can be expressed by neurodivergent women are not inferior to those expressed by neurotypical individuals. 

While Violet wasn’t specifically written with her being an autistic woman in mind, I feel she exhibits multiple traits from the very beginning of the series and is someone that autistic individuals, especially anyone who identifies as feminine, can see themselves in. The series begins with Violet not only separated from the military at the end of a war, but also from the Major—the one stabilizing force in her life who gave her orders, routine, and structure, but was also paradoxically the first of many people to show her kindness. The Major, his orders, and the structure of the military are predictable and regulated for Violet and soothe her anxieties. With her arms replaced by prosthetics, she demands to be given orders out of a desire to seek what’s familiar to her. Without this specific, and necessary, structure, she is adrift in expectations of allistic behavior. 

This becomes readily apparent when she is brought to the civilian Evergarden household. Violet is often seen saluting at inappropriate and out-of-context times, and downplays her own discomforts to her own detriment. This is an experience that many autistic women are all too familiar with. Due to socialization, and a horrendous rate of underdiagnosis according to UCLA, autistic women will often minimize their own needs and attempt to figure out those of others. This is known as masking. It is often not only unsuccessful, but creates a tremendous degree of internal and external stress. 

Realizing that Violet is not your socially typical girl, she is offered employment with the CH Postal Company by Claudia Hodgins, the owner, and namesake, of the company and a former friend of Violet’s Major. Like many autistic people, Violet excels in this regimented role largely because it does not require her to partake in excess socialization. It is a job with clear objectives and she puts her all into the role, even going too far and continuing to deliver letters long after nightfall. But it makes sense: many people with autism have difficulties in switching from one task to another, and may repeat on a single task to personal or career detriment, as Violet can be seen doing in this instance. 

Still, this role is not to last. Instead, Violet soon finds a role that might actually be the perfect fit. Within the context of the CH Postal Company are the services of the Auto Memory Dolls. Auto Memory Dolls are trained scribes tasked with taking the emotions of their clients and translating them into beautiful letters for the recipients. Most importantly, Auto Memory Dolls exhibit an extremely performative femininity and no known male Auto Memory Dolls seem to exist, which seems to suggest an undercurrent of commentary on female versus male empathic socialization.

What is evident is that Violet takes an interest in pursuing the role for herself, for deeply personal and experiential reasons. She takes the words last spoken to her by the Major—an emotional “I love you”—and explores those feelings within her new role. While this is not an emotional boundary she is ready to cross at this point in the story, she realizes that letter writing could serve as a medium for her to explore these emotions in a safe and detached way. Rather than exploring these emotions interpersonally with people she is not already connected with, letter writing gives her an unconventional means to develop cognitive and emotional empathy. Many in the series take Violet’s initially colder and off-putting demeanor as evidence that she doesn’t feel emotions, and cannot empathize with them. But the reality with Violet, much like with autistic people writ large, is that she actually feels emotions very deeply. She simply does not have the working language or cognitive models to express them in ways that are recognizable to her neurotypical peers. 

Despite the role opening up multiple possibilities for how she moves through the world, Violet’s struggles with social interaction make her first steps as an Auto Memory Doll seem like an initially very poor fit. She is blunt in her assessments of others, which reflects in her writing style. She’s also incredibly curt, or can be perceived as such. It is only after developing a bond with Luculia, a fellow Doll, and learning of the story of her brother who struggles with substance abuse issues, that she learns how to take her strengths with cognitive empathy and use them to her advantage in this new medium. 

In the episodes that follow, she takes this strength and applies it through letter writing to not only learn to understand and name her own emotions, a common autistic struggle also known as alexithymia, but to form social bonds with others. Violet differs from other Auto Memory Dolls in that the neurodivergence that she experiences causes her to be precise and non-judgemental with her clients. As a result, she quickly becomes a highly requested scribe and, through learning to name her feelings through a safe environment, is granted emotional catharsis of her own. 

We, the viewer, witness this in a flashback. In it, we learn that Violet’s off-putting mannerisms are traits she’s had (at least to some extent) all her life rather than being specifically linked to trauma. Very commonly, social expectations of people assigned female at birth lead to their clear signs of autism only being recognized by medical providers in retrospect. It is a very common experience for autistic women to be misdiagnosed, often multiple times, before finally being given a correct diagnosis and what few supports are available. While cisgender boys are often diagnosed with autism in early childhood, it is the much more common experience for girls and women to be diagnosed as adults, with 80% of those later identified as autistic being undiagnosed by the age of 18.

This is a result most often of systemic sexism. The diagnostic criteria for autism were written with boys in mind, who often present differently from girls. Autism research, going back to the 1940s, almost exclusively included boys in the study designs, and systematically excluded women (it’s worth noting as well that the studies used throughout this article presume a focus on cis women). As girls are additionally also expected through socialization to have high emotional empathy, their struggles are not seen as struggles to those around them, but as personal and moral failings. This often leaves autistic women vulnerable to unemployment and even domestic violence. 

We see this stigmatization in the show as well. Violet is introduced to the Major as nothing more than a weapon. She displays selective mutism and difficulties with eye contact and socially appropriate behavior and she is utterly dehumanized by the Major’s brother, Dietfried. In fact, he pressures Major Gilbert to think of Violet as nothing less than a weapon and a monster. While perhaps more literal, it is not uncommon for neurodivergent women to face social ostracization unless they provide some sort of utility. As a result of Violet’s neurodivergence, she is subjected to the additional trauma of war, which makes it ultimately harder for the people around her to learn how to relate to her. 

Yet by the end of the anime, Violet is in an emotionally healthier place than where she began. She accepts that she is different from other people and that she may not ever truly understand what the Major meant when he told her that he loved her. But, as the series repeatedly demonstrated, autistic and neurodivergent women can thrive and form strong bonds with other people if they are simply given the space to do so by their own merit. There are environments where women with autism can thrive and many still wish to connect with others. When social convention is dialed back, masking is not forced, and the expectations of feminine social behavior are not rigidly enforced, this becomes a possibility. The series clearly demonstrates the hopeful possibilities for autistic women who are often deeply othered due to gendered expectations of how empathy must be demonstrated. 

In the end, Violet is given a space of acceptance where she can both safely work through her own traumas, and learn to connect with others on their level without having rigid expectations placed upon her. Differences in neurology don’t preclude a person’s ability to form bonds and find acceptance. It simply requires a small amount of grace from others and a willingness to accept alternative means of communication.